So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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