If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I smell like Dick and happiness
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
