Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
