No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
