am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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