I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
