At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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