You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
