His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
