You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Randomize
