this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize