i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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