giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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