and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
