are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
