I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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