The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
