I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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