But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
