well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
