false alarm. still invincible.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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