i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
