3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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