that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
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What a dumb baby whore.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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