I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
