Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
farters have to be the big spoon...
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
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