New low: just hacked my moms facebook
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
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she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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