This girl is more easily done than said...
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Of course I have a pirate flag
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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