It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
