not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
