We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Your dad touched me again.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
It's just like the Real World with babies
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Randomize