mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
