we were pretty classy up until the second keg
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
