Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
