If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
