So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Still dying that you shit outside
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
