in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
