Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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