I CAN MOONWALK!
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
