Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
