U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
