What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
