In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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