OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
