i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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