i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize
