he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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