On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
