i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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