fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
