Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
