I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
