I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
