Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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