I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize