Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Randomize
