we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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