then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
